


A Friendly Debate

by MaddieandChimney



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, F/M, mentions of a death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:15:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24899044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieandChimney/pseuds/MaddieandChimney
Summary: Maddie finds Chimney furiously scribbling away in the middle of the night, trying to work out where he went wrong when a patient dies that day.
Relationships: Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Kudos: 8
Collections: Madney One-Shots





	A Friendly Debate

Maddie rubs her eyes, letting out a yawn when she walks into the kitchen, her concern elevating when she realises Chimney is so caught up in what he’s doing, he hasn’t even acknowledged her presence. For a moment, she wonders if it would be best for her to grab the glass of water she had come for and leave him in peace, because judging by the look on his face, he doesn’t want company.

Something still forces her to move over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder, only moving back ever so slightly when he jumps, a startled expression on his face. “Hey, um, what are you… doing?” She’s only _slightly_ hurt when he covers up the piece of paper with his arm when she tries to peer over to look at the words.

“Just go to bed, Maddie.”

She can feel the way her heart drops at the sound of his cold voice, the way his shoulder shrugs off her touch before he won’t look at her at all. Maddie knows this isn’t her Chimney, that something must be wrong for him to be acting that way but the tears sting her eyes, taking in the rejection from the man she loves before she takes a deep breath. “Come to bed with me? You know I can’t sleep without you next to me.”

He tenses, “You’ve been perfectly fine for the past few hours.”

Ouch. “W-when I fell asleep you were there…”

“I just want to be left alone.” It doesn’t appear as though he’s about to relent, and she does think about just heading back to bed. Instead of doing what her head was telling her to do, once again, she follows her heart and steps towards him, one hand on his shoulder as the other rests on her bump.

“I don’t think you do?” It comes out as more of a question than she intended, frustrated when a tear manages to slip down her cheek, just in time for him to look up at her. It’s enough to break the distant look he has in his eyes, even if only for a second, when he lets out a sigh.

“I can’t sleep… I keep replaying the moment in my head over and over again. Trying to figure out if there was something I could have done differently. If there’s something Hen would have done that I wouldn’t think of on the spot like she could…”

Maddie feels confident enough that he’s not going to snap at her, to lean over and pick up the piece of paper. Honestly, not a lot of it makes much sense – more the scribbling of a man trying to get everything and anything out of his head and onto paper as quickly as he possibly can. “Hen was a wonderful paramedic, Howie, but she wasn’t a miracle worker. What happened today… would have happened even if you did…” She scrunches her nose up when she reads a few of the more medical notes, “Okay, I don’t think any of that would have worked from what you told me earlier, baby.”

With a sigh, she places the piece of paper on top of the many others, placing a hand on either side of his face to force him to look at her, “You wont be able to do your job if you keep doubting yourself, baby. You are an amazing paramedic, with or without Hen. Are there times she’s thought of something you haven’t? Yes. But are there times when you have thought of things she hasn’t? Yes, of course there are. There are going to be times when your new partner thinks of things, too. Please, baby, please come to bed.”

She hates how he looks as though he doesn’t believe a single word falling from her lips, although she’s not surprised - not knowing how she can change something so internalised by her boyfriend. “You’re going to believe in yourself one day, you’ve only been doing it fifteen years.” Her tone is only a little playful, giving him a small smile before she presses her lips to his forehead, relaxing when his hands rest on her bump.

“Did I wake you up?”

“No-no, I just needed some water.” He gives her a look, “Maybe a snack.” The twenty-six-week pregnant woman sheepishly admits with only a small shrug of her shoulders. “But now me and bump just want you to come to bed, okay?” There’s a guilty expression on his face that she wishes she could find the words to wipe off, but she knows there’s no _right_ way of getting the stressed paramedic to believe anything he is so certain is wrong.

“You can’t torture yourself all night, there has to be something I can say or do to make you realise. If I can’t help you then I don’t—” She wants to say she doesn’t understand why they’re even together in the first place, because she’s _meant_ to be able to make him feel good about himself, just like he does for her in her lowest moments. She knows it’s impossible to fix him, but there should be something she can do or say to at least… help.

His eyes are searching hers, as though she’s going to finish her sentence but instead, she shakes it off, moving to slide onto the chair nearest to him, fingers sorting through all of the pieces of paper he’s going through. “Tell me everything, start to finish. I won’t try and fix anything. Just… let’s talk about this.”

“Maddie, it’s two in the morning, you need to sleep…”

“I’m not going to sleep without you next to me, and you’re not going to sleep until you get this out. So, hit me with it, Howie, I want to know _everything_ and anything going through your head and then I’ll give you my side. A friendly debate.” Neither of them can stop the smile on their faces when they look at each other, Maddie’s hand reaching out to grab his, giving it a tight squeeze.

When he takes a deep breath, she relaxes, watching as his eyes dart everywhere, trying to remember everything that had happened that day, trying to sort out his thoughts, “Okay, so…”


End file.
